I have found that many of us in relationship fail to be able to see things for what they are, as oppose to how they may seem. Ok, for instance, you may be getting ready for an appointment and are running late. Keep in mind' that you already have anxiety about not being totally prepared mentally, and so you feel overwhelmed with a negative cloud; in essence, you are annoyed. Now your companion notices that there is an obvious flaw in your attire and they bring it to your attention. Your companion said and did nothing wrong, yet you were previously under stress so naturally you begin venting your negativity with the situation in mind. Your companion on the other hand senses your frustration and decides to take it personal, overlooking the circumstances at hand. Now your companion is upset and begins arguing with you because of their displeasure with your present attitude. Now we have an all out WAR. Why, you may ask yourself? Well, both parties are so consumed in their personal feelings that there is no one to be the mediator. Both parties are lacking understanding in this situation as well self control.
The original party should keep in mind that they cannot always control the situation, (which maybe their lateness or the weather); yet they can control how they react to the situation. On the other hand, the other person needs to sense something is wrong with their companion and try to assist emotionally without taking everything personal. Give the person the benefit of the doubt that they may be annoyed with something other than you. The word says a soft word turns away wrath, it also says blessed are the peace makers.
So, in your next misunderstanding, please be the bigger person. Take a deep breath, listen, emphasize and try to stay calm and come up with a rational solution.
Written by: Drew L Hinds (author/mentor)